Five Steps to conquering your emotions
Sep 25, 2020
Every emotion you experience is a direct response to a thought, not to the world around you – Michael Neill
Yesterday, I was in pain. A gum infection had swollen my whole jaw and I hadn’t slept. To make matters worst, I’ve restarted a 16:8 fast and couldn’t eat all morning! Tired, grizzly and numb and hangry. Not a great combination. That feeling took over my whole day until I saw the dentist, picked up the medication and had some kindness from my son.
Listening to others’ reactions to Boris and the inflating frustration, anger, resolve I could feel that dial start to shift. I couldn’t focus, I couldn’t read for any length of time, I would watch a webinar but barely take anything in. I reckon that the majority of adults in the UK are somewhere right now on this distraction spectrum.
What did I do? What could you do?
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Think about that emotion. What thought or sensation is it linked to? Sometimes, just the act of stepping back and observing what’s happening is enough to decide whether to let it go or to act
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Respond don’t react. Most of all, I wanted to be acknowledged yesterday and soothed. I won’t go deeply into whether that was by my self or by another person but that was my need. If we can identify where the thought has come from we can identify what we need to change and we can act or ask others for the solution. How many of us throw around our reactions and expect / hope that people around us pick up on the cues? Honestly?
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Control the controllables. Have the serenity to accept what we cannot change. We create so much drama and stress trying to assert control or trying to fit things into patterns that we can rationalise. Sometimes things just are. Sometimes life just happens. If its unrealistic to ignore the problem then turn down the amount of energy you’re putting into fretting or book in a future time to review the situation. Regain control over you.
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Be kind. Your inner critic absolutely loves a drama and will throw around judgement at a time of high emotion. That little demon will say that you were right all along, that you were an idiot for reacting in that way, that the other person was the worst in all of mankind. You get the drift.
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Breathe. My final suggestion isn’t as cerebral as the others but can be just as effective. Take five minutes to breathe. Breathe in deeply and imagine that breath swirling around inside your body. Visualise the air rushing in and sending oxygen to your brain, your throat, your heart, your torso and to the base of the spine. That short exercise can do so much to re-centre you to give you much more power moving forward.
Do any of these resonate with you? What would you add?
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